I’m supposed to be writing a blog that is specifically designed to replace my income, allow me to work from anywhere, and help more people than the I can see face to face.  I’m supposed to be implementing all the techniques and protocols that ensure amassing a great following, creating my tribe, building raving fans, and creating a covey of people that worship me/the information like an idol.

I totally suck  at that.  

for real, though

Pressure. I buckle under pressure.

It’s been giving me nightmares and keeping me up and stealing my energy for the last 3 weeks as I’ve read and planned and learned.  I’m terrified of failing at this.  I’m horrified at the thought of being called out as a bad writer, a quack because I’m a chiropractor, and having even fewer friends because of what I teach about health.  I’m freaking out because I purchased the website and own the domain, but apparently, I shouldn’t have hosted it where I did (who the hell can know EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?! Nine years in school, 200+ hours of CEUs and I got NO tech skills) and now I have to transfer it or pay for it or do something else because what I thought was a good thing, was not, in fact, a good thing.  *sigh*

Like usual, before I even get started, I feel like I should quit.  It wasn’t right the first time, so surely I should just stop.

caveat

But I feel like I’m called to write.  To share.  To share more than health info.  To share life.  Vulnerably.  So together we can change the things– like fear of failure or exclusion– that hinder us all from taking next steps toward the life we truly desire to live.  

Habits that enslave us to one trajectory.  Like quitting when I realize I did something wrong and shame heaps its load upon me, pulling me to screeching halt.

changing course

On the flip side, I will NOT be chatting about habits of successful people.  Mr. Covey and Mr. Coyle have made the NYT Bestsellers list doing that.  I’m not discussing habits that bring you financial freedom, Mr. Ramsey and Mr. Kiyosaki have very different views about how to make that happen, research that one for yourself.  (But truly, unless you can cover your entire credit card payment each month, cut up the personal credit card and make a plan to spend your money not on dumb things you’ll take to a charity clothing location in the next year.)

I  want to talk about things that matter more than success and bank accounts.  I want us to take a good hard look at our fear habits, our lifestyle habits, and our relationship habits.  

truth

If you want things to change, you have to change the things.

Sometimes more than once.

Sometimes one thing at a time.

Sometimes continually.

Changing the things is how we create the life we dreamed about when we were kids.  It’s how we avoid chronic disease and chronic pain and chronic relationship disaster– which all typically lead to financial disarray (see why I’m just skipping that one?).  I may see if you’re interested in a product or class here and there, but for now, we’re friends sharing real life together.  I just happen to be a chiropractor and functional medicine practitioner who loves Jesus and chakras and yoga and crystals and energy.  And words.  Also, inappropriate placement of articles and conjunctions when writing incomplete sentences to convey complex thoughts and emotions.  Ms. Price, my AP English teacher, would not be proud of my writing style.

So, until I get the backend of things I don’t even understand straight, I’m starting now. Well. Again. Here. Trying not to be afraid to fail. Trying to learn something new and share my heart and mind with you at the same time.